Monday, May 16, 2005

Rules...We don't need no stinking rules!

There is a new “rule” for the “legitimate” media. The new rule is as follows: If you screw up a story, at least a dozen people must die.

Hey Newsweek, your magazine and/or Ted Kennedy’s car have killed more people than my blog and handgun combined. If you have been living in a news vacuum over the past few weeks, Newsweek, in an attempt to discredit our efforts in the war on terror, reported that someone flushed a Koran in an attempt to extract information from a “detainee”. Now I am no expert on this, but how on earth would flushing a book that someone considers holy, get them to talk? If I was being interrogated by, lets say, a Jehovah Witness, and they ripped a copy of the Bible up in front of me, I would be disgusted, but I wouldn’t talk. They will be the one that answers to God for doing it, not me.

Which is the correct spelling for the Koran? Is it with a Q or K?

Now, TV has slid almost to the bottom. I was watching something on Fox News, which despite this is still the best source of news on cable. A doctor was pushing his book and said that if we hear our crap hit the water, something is wrong with you. Hear the turd hit the water??? How can you hear the turd hit the water over the loud grunts and prayers promising never to eat that again? He did say that your penis was a good “dip stick” on your health. If you have trouble getting it up, then other parts of your body is having trouble getting blood too…or she is really ugly. Ok, I added that last part from personal experience. Ahhh, this is quality TV.

Of course, there is a disturbance in the force. Tonight is the last episode of Everybody Loves Raymond. I like Raymond, but….never mind. ELR is one of the funniest shows to hit the airways since M*A*S*H. I put it right up there with Frasier and Cheers.

Speaking of the force, the last of the pre-sequa-trilogy, Star Wars – Revenge Of The Sith is coming out soon. I heard that one of the rejected names was Star Wars – Beating A Dead Jedi. It is hard for someone like me to get excited about this, considering I seen the first 3 episodes (no. 4,5 & 6) when they came out in the theatre. It is hard to get the same feeling with this movie because every other movie that comes out has “ground breaking” special effects. When the first movie came out, “ground breaking” meant a new way to hide the wires or making someone on the screen disappear without making it too obvious that they just stopped the camera long enough for them to get out of the shot. Computers were these big things that took up large rooms and little Billy Gates was just getting started. The concept of a home computer was just being explored. Kids today have trouble understanding how we lived without microwaves, cell phones and computers. I kind of miss those days. Ah, the good old days when I first got a VCR and an Atari 2600 (although I think ours was a console from Sears). Before the 70’s, if a company came out with a product that had to be upgraded or replaced in a year or 2, then they would quickly die. Atari almost bit the dust because of that. Now there is a new console every 2 or 3 years. I am surprised that Sony has not come out with a PS3. Give them time.

Why did Lucas do the last 3 episodes first? Whatever his real reason, he made a mistake. If he started with episode 1, the 6th movie would not have to be his last in this series. We could see Princess Lea and Han Solo’s kids become a Jedi, and Luke’s kid is having an affair with a wookie (this would go on for a couple of episodes before we find out they are both the same sex, for the Will & Grace crowd). Episode 9 would have the first nude scene when an Ewok bears it all…ewww. I guess straight guys in France might like that. Hey, look how many Bond films there are. What are they up too, 20…21?

Enuff for now.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Catchin' Up

It has been a few months since I last posted. A lot has gone on. Where should I start?

My son recently asks what abortion was. I explained that it was a medical procedure where they kill the baby inside the woman. He asked how, and I replied, cutting it apart and sucking it out. His eyes got big. I went on to tell him that some women use abortion as a birth control and that they think that the baby is not “alive” until birth. He thought a minute, and then said, “That ain’t right.” Now, if an 11-year-old kid can figure it out with nothing but the facts, looks like the liberals could too. Go figure.

Terry Schiavo was murdered. Her blood is on the hands of her “husband” and the courts. Terry had nothing in writing, so it was left up to Michael to decide if he should kill her or not. He went with the money. He also had another incentive to kill her. The other woman. He has started another family, and I would bet my last dollar that that woman would like for Terry to go away. So, it might not have been a money issue after all. Either way, I don’t understand how someone could say that it was in her “best interest” when she had no therapy that would rehabilitate her. Look at the fireman in NY. He was in a coma for 10 years. He came back. Who are we to say that Terry could not have also come back? Michael and the courts fixed that. I think the fireman came back to send a message to doctors. He was saying, “This is not your job.” Bottom line, without a living will, we have NO right to terminate an innocent person’s life. Always error on the side of life.

Michael Jackson should be in jail, and so should the mothers that let their children sleep with him. There is no reason or justification that a responsible parent should allow their children to sleep in the same bed with anyone outside, and some inside, their family. Especially a freak like him.

A note to the idiot that claims that he had an affair with Paula Abdul: You’re not even worth a Google search to get your name: It is 15:01, give it up. I think they are hiring at the Hard Rock Café. You should fit right in.

The DeLay fiasco will come back to bite the Dems in the ass. They all do it.

We should insist on an “independent” investigation of the UN. Volcker is like the rooster judging the hen house. They should get someone that has never been in the UN. I am free next week.

Bolton should be our next rep at the UN. We need someone with the balls to represent us.

Jennifer Wilbanks should pay back all the money that they spent to look for her and any other expense that occurred because of her actions, with interest. We should also make her pay for posters of her to be placed anywhere singles gather as a warning. She is not worth the money to prosecute.

I think the Feds should get their priority straight. Take the GPS device off of Martha Stewart and put it on a pedophile. DUH. I don’t give a rat’s ass if Martha goes to a party. I do care if I have some old man that likes little girls lives next to me. Isn’t this common sense?

Finally, to the whinny press. I read, with some amusement, that the press says bloggers don’t have “rules” to follow. Why are rules important to them now? They say that our articles are not based on fact or well researched. Really? I have been saying that about the media for years. It started with Dan Rather calling the plywood shack that Randy Weaver lived in a “Fortress”. Don’t wait for the translation Dan! (Slamming fist on desk) Do you deny it???? If the press has rules, what are they? First, they should not let facts get in the way of a good story. Second, newspapers and magizines should not write articles that takes longer to read than the average bowel movement. Last, but not least, BASH bloggers, gun owners, Christains and anyone that could hurt Hilary’s chance for a Whitehouse bid in ’08.

I think that catches me up for now.

P.S. Ann Coulter for President in ‘08
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